yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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