I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
