Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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