Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
