come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
