She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
