Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
