I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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