I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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