If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize