Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
