my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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