Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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