my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
