I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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