hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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