Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
