Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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