btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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