Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
