I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
