doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
