I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
