you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
