dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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