Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Randomize
