Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
