I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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