Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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