I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
