Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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