I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
