Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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