they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
