I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
