my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
