Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
