i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
