I just threw up on my dentist
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
