why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
