Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
