Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
