I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
