I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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