I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
