Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
