We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
