I wish I only lived at night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
