True but thats because hes a fetus.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
