I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
