I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
