I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
